margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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