don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
