We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
