Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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