I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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