I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
