Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
