Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
