I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
