Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I need water and some morals
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
