Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
