Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
