What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
