We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
