i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
