her vagine was all disorganized.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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