Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
