We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
