bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
