Did you just see the Batmobile???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
