I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
