dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
