SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
