ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
