I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
