have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
