Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
