I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
COCAINE IS GR8
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
