went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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