Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
