omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
