They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize