i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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