You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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