That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
