Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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