love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
