Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
