If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
