Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
