google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
