No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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