no. you can't hotbox the world.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
