im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My cat gives me a boner
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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