They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
