Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
