I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Who died my cat blue again?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
