how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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