I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
