I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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