please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
