i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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