my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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