found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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