Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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