im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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