Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
