"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
